As Seen on TV....

I have always been a very big fan of the ‘As Seen on TV’ products. And it has been difficult at times, but I have always managed enough restraint to (almost) never buy any of those products, no matter how cool or amazing they seemed. In fact, at Walgreen’s they have a section of one of the back aisles where they sell all different kinds of those items and I just force myself to stay away from the source of temptation because I know if it’s right in front of me, I WILL CAVE. But I think they’ve been watching and they’ve figured out my plan. The other morning, I stopped at Walgreen’s on my way to work and I’m not kidding, it was like they knew I was coming. As soon as I walked in, right there almost so close to the entrance that you would have to knock it out of the way in order to get in to the store was a display – and on that display just happened to be the latest ‘As Seen on TV’ arrivals. How convenient. All of a sudden, I started breaking out in a cold sweat…my throat started to close up….my pulse was RACING. I looked around to see if anyone was watching. Nope. I knew that this was the moment – I could no longer just run from the demon. I had to look it in the eyes and confront it. I had to show force. I had to laugh in the face….So that’s just what I did.

And I only spent $20 (plus tax, of course)!

Look – you judge me, but deep down, I know you are jealous that I actually did it and you’re itching to find out what I purchased. Did it work? Was it as cool as it seemed on the advertisement? You’re curious….just like I was. And I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to be curious. So, here’s what you’ve been waiting for – the low down on the goods. Ladies, if you’ve seen the commercials, these are absolutely THE two items you are most curious about of the entire line of ‘As Seen on TV’ products. That’s right – The bra strap clip and the body hair grinder.

First, the bra strap clip: Its official name is “Strap Perfect” and while it sells on television for $20, it’s only $10 in the store. And here’s what’s cool, you get SIX of these clips – 2 black, 2 clear, and 2 nude. Here’s the thing: I am so frustrated with my bra straps not staying up. I’ve tried the subtle tactics like rotating my shoulder in hopes of scooting it back in place, or with ever so much grace pinching the shoulder of my blouse, making sure to catch the wandering strap in my pinch, and then ever so gently pushing it back to the starting line…it doesn’t work. And I’d be lying if I said that it ever really did. I was done trying to be a lady about it. I no longer concerned myself with maintaining my dignity (well, what dignity I had to start with). It no longer phased me to address the situation, even if I was in a room full of men. You know the drill I’m talking about – Grabbing hold of your neckline like a handle, pulling it out away from you (which becomes tougher in these cold months when you’re wearing a turtleneck sweater), sending your arm in to go fishing for your strap which is hanging out around your elbow by the time you’ve lost your patience, and dragging it back up into position, knowing that no sooner does your neckline recover from the fishing expedition you will be going back in. I was weak and I’m not ashamed to say it.

Well, I was so excited about these clips that I took them to work with me and put one on as soon as I got in the building. And ladies, I emerged a new woman. I had better posture and, lo and behold, somewhere between when I went in and when I came out, my girls had learned how to walk! Not only are your straps good to go all day and all night, but you finally get some REAL support. And yes, you really can put them on all by yourself – I will say that connecting them takes a little getting used to and at first, you might find yourself with your straps pulled all the way up over your head as you attempt to do a few acrobatic tricks to get it hooked around the various straps. But I do not lie when I tell you this is the greatest item I have ever purchased. That day, I was so giddy about how great they worked that I told all of my lady co-workers about them and ended up giving my other five away just so they could taste a slice of that elation pie I was now eating from. This, my friends, is the good life.

While not near as exciting as the strap perfect, the other thing I bought (again, only $10) was the “Smooth Away” – it’s this pink thing that you stick a piece of what I will refer to as body hair sand paper and just start gently sanding that body hair right off! Well, it works! The sandpaper is very smooth, almost more like a piece of rubber or plastic. And not only does it remove the hair, it also exfoliates. In fact, you have to dust yourself off every so often while using this because of all of the skin dust. It’s really the craziest thing I’ve ever seen – unfortunately, what I’m really looking for is something I can wipe all over my legs and pits and after one miracle application, the hair is gone forever. *sigh* I guess I’ll just have to keep watching the commercials.

So there you have it – I took one for the team and I was victorious! Run, ladies! Run to your nearest drug store or As Seen on TV outlet and purchase! You will totally thank me. In fact, You’re Welcome…in advance.

Have a great weekend –

Princess Rhonda
(Royalty of Retail)

I Fought the Ice and the Ice Won

A week ago yesterday, I was driving down the interstate on my way to a friend’s house – three lanes and I was in the outside slowest lane. We had had some really cold temperatures but hadn’t had any precipitation in a few days so the roads appeared to be clear, although as long as it isn’t getting above freezing at any point during the day, it’s always safest to assume that with no opportunity to thaw, there could always still be ice on the roads and you should drive accordingly. Well, this particular day, I was driving accordingly as noted above, and yet, all of a sudden, as if an outside force of darkness took over, my car turned towards the inside lane and just started gliding (and accelerating) ever so gracefully as it did the loveliest pirouette and then slammed (again, ever so gracefully) into the guardrail separating the east and west bound lanes. So there I sit, making eye contact with fellow drivers heading right in my direction, wondering just how this will all play out. Fortunately, they were able to slow down and allow me to turn my car around and get back over to the right side of the road where I started from.

I called my friend and explained that I wouldn’t be coming to her house after all and then proceeded to drive slowly ahead to get my banged up self home. It’s at this point that I call Mark and tell him what has happened. He explains that I need to stop driving, call 911, and wait for a cop so that we have a police report for our insurance. Nice. Just great. Ok, fine – so I do that and am informed it will be quite a wait as there are lots of wrecks being worked. So there I sit. *sigh* Mark comes driving up and pulls over in front of me. He and I are waiting and we’re looking backwards at the area where I had my big debut, when all of a sudden another car hits the same spot and goes flying across the interstate, only HE goes from left to right, ending up in the pillowy snow bank. Nice – why couldn’t I have been so fortunate? And then it hit me – he just slammed into the exact place I had parked to call my friend. Had I called Mark BEFORE I started driving, I would have been in that same spot when he hit.

Ok fine, it definitely could have been worse.

While waiting, we decide that we are going to forego our much anticipated special time with the cop (and the ticket for wreckless driving and the cost to tow my car to…who knows where since it’s Sunday afternoon) and I get in my car and drive slowly along the back roads and Mark follows me so that I can live vicariously through him and have a set of real live, working taillights. (My own real live working taillights were actually laying on the side of the road, the only thing left from my car’s love affair with the guardrail.) We made it safely home.

On Monday, we took it in to be looked at - $8,400 in damages…really? So cheap. But because it’s so much, they do have to turn the info back in to our insurance company before proceeding so that they can make the final call. We never heard back so we just assumed all was well on car repair front. Seems it wasn’t –

Mark just called me today. The insurance company had their own adjustor come look at the car and they determined it was actually more like $10,000 in damages so they are going to total my car. And we all know how that will pan out – Not only will they not give us near enough to pay the thing off, but our rates will go up as a consolation prize for not purchasing the GAP insurance…Nice.

So, I take a deep cleansing breath. I thank God that it really could have been so much worse. And you can imagine how RELIEVED my hubby is – he couldn’t imagine his life without me…and who can blame him. I mean, I AM pretty fun and fabulous!

And now I’m going to start looking for jobs and houses in a warmer climate – *sigh* I was not created to sustain this kind of weather. Whoever said that moon boots are the new strappy sandal with a fresh peddi is SERIOUSLY disturbed.

Until we meet again…
The Princess

Legally Disappointed *sigh*

Anyone who knows me very well knows (or at least isn't at all surprised) that my all-time favorite movie, without question, is Legally Blonde. Even my closest friends and family refuse to watch it with me because I just can't help but recite the lines along with the movie...So, it only seemed appropriate that I pay homage to my favorite movie by going to see the live production "Legally Blonde the Musical" - it was coming to the Wharton Center at MSU in East Lansing. Going was actually the idea of Kimmy, my friend genius. She is my 'Fabulous Equal' and, while she had not even seen the movie yet (WHAT???) and had to dig deep to find something pink to wear to the big night, we are fortunate to share a true appreciation of all things sparkly. I have to say up front that I was prepared to be a little disappointed with the musical, only because it's another visual medium, versus reading the book and then seeing either a play or movie. I already had one visual of the story and was now going to have to make some compromises in order to enjoy another visual of the same story, since you can't do on stage all of the things you can do in the movies. But I was very excited to get to see the musical because, well...hello??? It's a musical - Who DOESN'T love musicals? That's just silly. So, the big night finally arrived - we met at a little Mexican restaurant on campus - Los Quatros Amigos. DEEELISH! And how excited was I to find them using QUESO BLANCO (that's white cheese for those of you who don't speak fluent espanish). If you have never had this white cheese, you are missing out! It has the yummiest flavor and the texture is fun too (I mean, if cheese texture can be fun....) If you've ever been to Harry Bear's in Moore or Oklahoma City, and you've had their cheese sticks...THAT is what I'm talking about. Now dinner is done, and we head off for the theater...and in honor of the sacred event, I had purchased blonde wigs for us to wear to the show. (In case there is any doubt, yes, we were a big hit!)

LOVERS OF THE BLONDE ONE - BEWARE. In my humble (albeit most of the time “spot on”) opinion, the musical wasn’t just a little bit off the mark. It missed the mark completely. Everything that makes the movie so wonderful and addictive, the live production is lacking. Just a heads up: The UPS guy is hilarious; Unfortunately, Elle isn’t the one that teaches Paulette the “Bend and Snap”, Serena does; Paulette longs for an Irishman named Brendan because the Irish know how to love and she wants to dance with him without moving her arms – Note/Spoiler: When they introduced this into the story, I was a bit annoyed because I couldn’t figure out where in the world they came up with it, but I will say they redeemed themselves in the end when Paulette meets her dream guy Brendan (the UPS guy) and the entire cast breaks into a routine straight out of Riverdance – quite hilarious!; and my biggest problem with it was the theme song, which opened the show, closed the show, and then just in case you missed it, it was exclaimed by the entire cast as the very last line of the show – “Ohmigod You Guys”. Just be aware that if you don’t have an artsy appreciation for using the Lord’s name in vain, you might not want to see the show. But certainly, if your curiosity is just getting the best of you, by all means, go - but sit in the cheap seats. (And as a side note for those who might be wondering, I absolutely kept my disappointment completely under control, all the while maintaining my 'bounce and sparkle'. Snaps for the Princess!) Here’s a shot of “Team Fabulous” in our golden blonde tresses…Jealous, aren’t you? So, even though the show disappointed, Kimmy and I had a GREAT time - between work and family, it was great to have some girl time with her.

Ok, I’m off for now – You’ll be hearing from me again very soon!

The Princess