Attention Drivers: The Fast Lane is No Longer Fast

OK - I just have to talk (vent) about Michigan traffic. Ya'll (in the South...) would NOT believe the insanity that takes place every time you get in your car and hop on an interstate (ANY of them). First of all, they drive fast. Really fast. I drive fast. That's good. But it leads to other sins.... Because everyone drives fast, they all feel that they are eligible to drive in the fast lane. Even the people that don't drive fast - they think they drive fast because people in Michigan drive fast, so they must be driving fast too. Better get in the fast lane then. Out here, the fast lane is not for passing. The fast lane is for anyone who thinks they drive fast - whether they do or not. Oh, and to show people how fast they drive, they tailgate. GRRRRR - It's like, "I drive fast - Can you see me in your rear view mirror? See how close I am? That's because I drive FAST. That's why I'm in the fast lane."

Now, let's look at the people who actually do drive fast. Passing on the right is not illegal in Michigan. It's necessary. Unfortunately, there are a few uneducated souls who actually think slow people should be in the slow lane. SO, there are occassional speed bumps. However, I'm trained to handle those - And once I have them driven off the road, it's back to my cruising altitude of 80 mph.

Which leads me to the Michigan Traffic Farts (MTF). This is when traffic just comes to a halt all of a sudden. After about 5-20 minutes (times will vary), you start moving and you realize that there was absolutely no reason for the stop. No wreck. No sudden snowstorm. No hit deer. I guess people in Michigan have weak gas pedal feet and have to take a break every so often....IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSTATE. I don't know. My philosphy is that because of the tailgating and the slow people in the fast lane, one car hits their brakes and then people are following so close that they can't just slow down, they have to stop completely (and quickly, I might add). Then, it dominoes...and the poor guy at the back of the line 50 or 60 cars back....well, I hope he has a book on tape in the car with him, 'cause it's gonna' be a while. If you get a call from me between the hours of 5 - 7 p.m., it's not so much because I really want to talk, but I have to kill time somehow. And when you say hello, and I say hi back, don't ask what's going on. You know what's going on. I'm in traffic. Don't patronize me.

And it is very rare to actually see a highway patrolman. And when you do, they just wave as you FLY by. When I see that a cop has someone pulled over, I cannot imagine what that person could have done to get themselves pulled over. They had to have been driving with their feet while hanging out the window with an alcoholic beverage in one hand and a "Go Buckeyes" sign in the other. It's unbelievable.

So, on to more exciting things....

I got my 90 day review. I was quite nervous because, as far as I can remember, I have never had a review of any kind. My philosophy is "If I'm doing it right, leave me alone." Well, not so much around here. I was quite nervous. I just knew it was going to be a verbal review of all my report cards as a child in school..."Talks too much" "Doesn't stay in seat" "Talks too much" "Won't stop singing" The review went really well though. She didn't mention any of those things. It couldn't have had anything to do with the fact that I went in acting like I was on the edge, about to jump off. Fragility can get you a lot of places...like out of trouble.

I have had the opportunity to sing a solo the past two Sundays. I'm not really sure why they would have me sing from the stall in the bathroom. I asked how the sound system worked in there. They just told me that the microphone was in the ceiling and just sing - they promised me it sounded great afterwards. hmmmm

Just kidding - The first Sunday, I sang, "I Bowed On My Knees and Cried Holy" and the second, I sang, "He'll Do It Again." Both went really well and have helped Mark and I meet people. This Sunday, I get to sing with the Praise Team. I hope they don't freak out when I start hopping all over the stage. So far, all their praise team members have stood around music stands. I can't stand still, much less focus on a music stand. HE HE HE That's funny - ME? Focus on ANYTHING??? They'll learn me soon enough, I guess. I'll try not to scare them all at once.

I get to come home for the holidays!!! I'm so excited! It looks like we'll be coming on Friday before Christmas and leaving the next Wednesday. I know it will be busy as I try to see some people, and I am so excited! I will try to make the most of the time I have.

A few nights ago, Mark and I cooked "Beer Butt Game Hens" for dinner. Mark even made a website to show off and to show people how to make them. Check out the website: http://home.comcast.net/~markcpierce/beerhen.htm They were great and we had a blast cooking the dinner together.

Well, I did so good on my review, I better finish up my lunch and get back to work so she doesn't change her mind! I'm pretty sure I'm getting Employee of the Year, but I am trying not to rub it in too much. Peg says I can't get it because I haven't been here a year yet. I told her, "Well, maybe average people have to wait a year...but when you reach a certain level of fabulous, there are no time restrictions. You cannot hold "stinkin' awesome" to a time table."

No Need to Bow-
Princess Rhonda